Thank you!

Sorry, it takes me a while to compile comments and digest it. Among other things, I am under tremendous stress right now to finish assignments and everything. So I sort of ignore the problems at the moment.

I want to make this post about you. All of you who come and sacrifice a portion of your time helping me. Thank you so much. And, reading your comments back and forth, there were tears in my eyes. I can't say thank you enough. thank you and thank you!

There are a lot of good ideas that make me look back at my history and want to do something right for my body and soul. I can't help thinking that maybe it's the stress I have to tolerate at this point in my life that makes me cry out and scream about something that is not at all a big deal. I mean during the summer when I work 8 hours like a normal human being I lost 10 lbs over 2-3 months and feel very happy. I have time to meditate everyday and I act more rationally than this. Right now I made my life all about work, from opening my eyes in the morning to going to bed at night. No plan would work if my usage of time is messed up in the first place. I could imagine that in 2 weeks or so, once the semester is over, I will be the sane me again. Then the fats have to watch out cuz I will be burning it like nobody's business.

In the future, I will have to think about what's the source of happiness in my life. Is being the busiest girl in the world the ultimate goal of my life? Absolutely not. I have to find balance in my life first and for sure balance in food consumption should not be too hard to pursue.

In terms of what to do dietwise, I thought I have a clue but I don't. So I now choose to let go of control in that area, at least for another 2 weeks. I won't weigh myself and put myself into yet another diet. Hopefully my body and mind would see no points in rebelling since there is no control to fight with. And I will start working on my mentality, turning down the negative voice and turning up the positive voice. Love myself and be there for myself whether it's fat or skinny day.

And again thank you!
Thank you Etana! you are such a wise woman. I have checked BFL pages and read your log. It opens my eyes in a lot of ways. I was just in the wrong focus and I have to find the middle space between perfect and failure. I will pop in for a chat at your house in JP sometimes. I will let you know how I am doing. After all, we are Metarepair alumni!

Thank you Sinead! You have a motherly spirit. You have been here in my blog for a while with encouragement and kind words. I appreciate everything you have done both for me and for other people over at Leigh's website. I like reading your comments. They make my heart warm and glowing. I hope the blessing you give out go back to you and help you stay happy the way you are! ((HUGSS))

Thank you Mandy! Thank you for offering help in personal level. Your comment reminds me that I have life after this. I will be in my 30s one day looking back to my life today. And I want to feel no regrets. I know I will win this battle eventually. I have to first get through this setback.

Thank you Cynthia! Your comment makes me look back to all the positive things that have happened in my life and things that I have done right. My situation with food used to be worse. I now know a lot more about nutrition and about myself. I should give myself some credits for that. You are such an in spiration for the work you have invested for your health.I don't know I can push it through like that if I were you.

And thank my friends at Peertrainer who offer helps and encouragement all along, although they didn't post it here. I love all of you and I'm glad we found each other!