A Letter from the Post-Overeating Me

Hi Me,

You might be considering eating something right now. I am glad you open this letter up and read it before you take any action. If you finish reading this letter and still decide that you are going to eat, I am okay with it. Just know that I love you so much, much more than anything in this world, even more than I do my parents and my boyfriend. You are the most important thing to me. And I am writing this letter not to chain you or discipline you, but to protect you. No matter how rough the world is, I will still support and care about you unconditionally. You feel the same way to me, don't you?

I am stuffed. It's a terrible horrible feeling you don't want to be in. I feel bloated and disgusted. There is nothing good coming out of overeating, you know. You don't enjoy the processes not do you enjoy the consequence. Now I am in the position where I can tell you that I suffer. Yes I suffer so badly that I want to cry, want to beat myself up. I feel so defeated and miserable. My stomach is protruding and I feel like my waist is several inch bigger. I suffer the feeling that 'I can never lose weight and I will be confined in this body I hate.' I don't know what I should say to anybody to expect me to be healthy and happy. I hate lying that I am fine and everything is okay. I hate refusing to attend social eating event because I have binged too much and feel guilty. You know what? All this misery happens after the first bite, the freaking first bite where everything rolls out of control.

And I have been here for years now. Yes, for years. And years are such a long time. If I can take all the time, energy, and mental resource I waste on this overeating habit, I probably can make millions or fly to the moon by now.

You might be thinking that you can just eat now and start new plan tomorrow. You know how this kind of thoughts do not work, right? If it works, you should have been free from this shit now that you have spent years battling it. This moment is the precious time to catch whatever you want, because you only have it once. If you don't start now, you can never really start living your life.

Could you do me a favor? Smile, close your eyes, and welcome craving sensation. Tell it you are okay living with it. Understand that it can be there without your reacting to it. This, too, shall pass.

You no longer need to second guess your decision not to eat. You do not discipline yourself; you are doing yourself a favor. Imagine that if you can get through this fifteen minutes you can get through today. You can get through tomorrow and you can be free from this trap. You have to start being responsible for your destiny right now. Yes, RIGHT NOW. No other moment is more perfect than this!

Finally, the decision is in your hands. You know how I genuinely wish you the best. I love you just like you love me. Let's get through this. We will find ourselves in a better place in no time.

Love You Wholeheartedly,
Me